A Life Reborn
Jenna Brodner
Cynical. That was me. I came to re|engage beaten and run over by Christians and churches and I was confident there was NOTHING a church support group full of holy rollers could offer. I came into the group thinking I’d sit for an hour and leave, offering my husband the same, “I told you so,” I’d said for every church event we’d ever done together. I thought my marriage was fine, that my spouse was overreacting to our arguments, and I didn’t even know why I was in a marriage class. I remember clearly: I came into the first meeting, I listened, heard the singing and testimony that was offered, and then we were asked to come up front if we had never been before. I went up front and told the room I was not religious, I was a pagan witch, and I was not sure this was the place for me.
Let me pause for a moment here and explain my situation. I grew up in a home void of God and God’s love until I sought it out myself as a young child. I rode buses to church when I could, and in junior high I went to church with my best friend, and at age 17 I married into a very Christ-centered family (or so I thought). As a teenager, I was highly involved as a student leader and very rooted in my church - until I wasn’t. There were several pivotal times in my life when I’d counted on “God,” but I had put my faith in people, and people let you down. Looking back, I let myself and God down. When I told the re|engage group about my current pagan affiliations, I expected a reply equally cynical in nature, maybe a, “You’re one of those,” or, “We don’t have a place for you here.” But that was NOT what I got. I was simply told, “OK,” and met with a blank stare for a second that communicated, “Is that all?” You see, God was already working on me and the leader knew she didn’t have to say more.
We attended re|engage for three weeks before committing to a closed group. The first week in our closed group was as expected: it was a chapter on experiencing God’s love. I’m quite sure I was feeling relaxed because that week wasn’t as rough as I anticipated. The group we were placed in was a great fit from the first day and relationships were beginning to form.
The topic of the second week was “Brokenness” and I hit the wall. I was sitting in my car reading the homework and I got MAD; it was clear to me that the book was from a cult, and I was being attacked. The book used terms at the core of my issues, and I felt confronted. I read everything with a negative eye and mindset. I even called my group leader and insisted the verbiage was awful. I was asked to read it again and we sat and talked for a long time. It was the beginning of healing my hurt and pain. We had 12 weeks to go and let me tell you - they were AMAZING!
By week 3, on the topic of Grace, my walls came crashing down. I don’t mean I was able to stand being in the group, I mean, I sold my business. I’d been selling pagan gifts online for years and within two weeks I closed my business. My husband and I began reading the Bible together, I recommitted my life and my soul to the Lord, and my ENTIRE OUTLOOK ON LIFE completely turned around.
My husband John and I completed the 14 weeks of a closed re|engage group. Months later, we are closer than ever. I know most people who enter this class anticipate revamping a marriage but this class transformed our entire life. Before this class, I couldn’t pray without rolling my eyes or cursing, and now, let me just tell you about my Jesus! My home is more peaceful, I pray, I enjoy God’s presence in my life all over again and I feel like I’m literally HELD again by a loving parent as I go through life. I tell people that before I came to re|engage life was fine, but it was as if I was living in a Petrie dish. Choosing to live in a small world meant I was missing the whole world. I can step out now and experience everything, not just a small portion. I limited the amount of myself I’d opened to my husband and my children to prevent anyone from hurting me. But I’m free now. I know that life will never be “perfect” but I’m not alone. My marriage isn’t only for myself and my spouse. My children don’t have only my husband and me looking after them. We have a home that welcomes God’s presence. Re|engage gave me EVERYTHING and we are VERY much looking forward to another session very soon! Forever grateful to re|engage, coaches and LC3 for the opportunity to have taken these classes.
Cynical. That was me. I came to re|engage beaten and run over by Christians and churches and I was confident there was NOTHING a church support group full of holy rollers could offer. I came into the group thinking I’d sit for an hour and leave, offering my husband the same, “I told you so,” I’d said for every church event we’d ever done together. I thought my marriage was fine, that my spouse was overreacting to our arguments, and I didn’t even know why I was in a marriage class. I remember clearly: I came into the first meeting, I listened, heard the singing and testimony that was offered, and then we were asked to come up front if we had never been before. I went up front and told the room I was not religious, I was a pagan witch, and I was not sure this was the place for me.
Let me pause for a moment here and explain my situation. I grew up in a home void of God and God’s love until I sought it out myself as a young child. I rode buses to church when I could, and in junior high I went to church with my best friend, and at age 17 I married into a very Christ-centered family (or so I thought). As a teenager, I was highly involved as a student leader and very rooted in my church - until I wasn’t. There were several pivotal times in my life when I’d counted on “God,” but I had put my faith in people, and people let you down. Looking back, I let myself and God down. When I told the re|engage group about my current pagan affiliations, I expected a reply equally cynical in nature, maybe a, “You’re one of those,” or, “We don’t have a place for you here.” But that was NOT what I got. I was simply told, “OK,” and met with a blank stare for a second that communicated, “Is that all?” You see, God was already working on me and the leader knew she didn’t have to say more.
We attended re|engage for three weeks before committing to a closed group. The first week in our closed group was as expected: it was a chapter on experiencing God’s love. I’m quite sure I was feeling relaxed because that week wasn’t as rough as I anticipated. The group we were placed in was a great fit from the first day and relationships were beginning to form.
The topic of the second week was “Brokenness” and I hit the wall. I was sitting in my car reading the homework and I got MAD; it was clear to me that the book was from a cult, and I was being attacked. The book used terms at the core of my issues, and I felt confronted. I read everything with a negative eye and mindset. I even called my group leader and insisted the verbiage was awful. I was asked to read it again and we sat and talked for a long time. It was the beginning of healing my hurt and pain. We had 12 weeks to go and let me tell you - they were AMAZING!
By week 3, on the topic of Grace, my walls came crashing down. I don’t mean I was able to stand being in the group, I mean, I sold my business. I’d been selling pagan gifts online for years and within two weeks I closed my business. My husband and I began reading the Bible together, I recommitted my life and my soul to the Lord, and my ENTIRE OUTLOOK ON LIFE completely turned around.
My husband John and I completed the 14 weeks of a closed re|engage group. Months later, we are closer than ever. I know most people who enter this class anticipate revamping a marriage but this class transformed our entire life. Before this class, I couldn’t pray without rolling my eyes or cursing, and now, let me just tell you about my Jesus! My home is more peaceful, I pray, I enjoy God’s presence in my life all over again and I feel like I’m literally HELD again by a loving parent as I go through life. I tell people that before I came to re|engage life was fine, but it was as if I was living in a Petrie dish. Choosing to live in a small world meant I was missing the whole world. I can step out now and experience everything, not just a small portion. I limited the amount of myself I’d opened to my husband and my children to prevent anyone from hurting me. But I’m free now. I know that life will never be “perfect” but I’m not alone. My marriage isn’t only for myself and my spouse. My children don’t have only my husband and me looking after them. We have a home that welcomes God’s presence. Re|engage gave me EVERYTHING and we are VERY much looking forward to another session very soon! Forever grateful to re|engage, coaches and LC3 for the opportunity to have taken these classes.
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